Learning to Let Go
Nature's glorious reminder of the beauty of release
I have always loved fall. So cliché – I know… but it is true! I grew up in an area of the country where the season lasted only a few short weeks with just a handful of trees present that actually changed color. Though it would likely remain in the 80s-90s (at minimum) through the majority of this traditionally “cool and crisp” time of the year, I would decorate my house, bake pumpkin spice bread, and bring out all the fall-flavored coffee. I would also find myself regularly beckoned to my favorite cozy chair by a good book, scented candles, and chunky blankets. Autumn can be enchanting for lovers of literature!
About four years ago, my family and I moved cross-country to a region where this stunning season is on display from beginning to end in absolute splendor. You can drive for hours here through winding mountain or country roads encompassed by spectacular hues of golden yellow, burnt orange, and rust red. My “backyard” (aka a mini-forest) offers us our own picturesque vista through the broad windows that stretch across our back deck. I never really understood, prior to moving, that people actually live in the captivating places we had only seen in pictures. It is breathtaking – truly!
My sincere (and relentless) appreciation of the beauty that now surrounds us daily has garnered me countless eye rolls from my family, as I apparently cannot control how often I declare “It is so beautiful here!” My husband even teases me about how many leaves we constantly have to clear from our “personal forest” yet my daughter and I go out of our way to adorn the inside of our home with decorative leaves. in my opinion, there’s simply no such thing as too much fall!
This particular year, my beloved landscapes paint a different picture. While I have always understood leaves change color because they are dying, I don’t know that I have fully recognized the significance of their release. This season, our family finds ourselves (once again) facing disappointment, uncertainty, and fear of an unknown future. No amount of effort, control, hard work, or even prayer seems to be providing our desired outcomes. We have fought, pleaded, sat down in defeat, then picked ourselves back up and started the whole cycle over again. It seems no matter what we do (or don’t do) the results appear the same. It’s like living that movie, Groundhog Day, over and over. We can’t seem to get out of the hamster wheel. 2024 has NOT been our favorite year…
Despite my undesirable dilemmas, there is something distinctly different about how I am processing this period of struggle. Over the past several years, I have felt the Lord calling me to follow Him into the unknown. One small step at a time, I have faithfully walked on into the horizon not really understanding at all where I am going. Like Abraham (formerly called Abram) when God called him out into a harsh wilderness in search of the “promised land” (Gen. 12), this nomadic journey has been difficult and disheartening at times. Yet, I have strived to preserve. Following Abraham’s footsteps, I have continued to traverse down this unfamiliar road trusting in my unseen guide.
I prefer – like REALLY prefer, to have a plan at all times. Anyone else relate? Even individuals who are more free-spirited and spontaneous enjoy some measure of predictability or stability. A sense of security offers paramount relief, doesn’t it? We feel like we are safe. It’s all under control. We know who we are and where we are going. Unfortunately, long-term security often produces a stagnant faith and our Good Father does not want us to remain there. Though uncomfortable, He stretches us through hardships, uncertainties, and trials so we learn true dependence on Him and witness His miraculous provision in our lives (though it often looks nothing at all like we thought it would).
I have journeyed through enough valleys to comprehend this unwanted season of our life is for our good and that He is working out divine plans and purposes in and through us. So this round, instead of pulling up my bootstraps, I am learning to “let go and let God.” I am pressing further into surrender, release, and rest. When fear or anxiety tries to rise up, I look up and out at the glory all around me. The God of creation holds the whole universe in His hands – me included. While my emotions may be a bit slow on the uptake at times, I know in my heart that I am His. With this assurance, I can watch the leaves, in all of their splendor, separate from the trees that anchors them. They are gloriously whisked away; their fates directed by an unseen power. I cannot help but be in awe. I am determined. I can and will learn to let go.
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What a beautiful article. I love how you make the connection between falling autumn leaves and letting go. If we can see clearly enough, we can see God's tender presence in all - even falling leaves.